'It's the most excruciating pain and the feeling of isolation and loneliness you feel walking out of there without your baby.' Colts NFL Colts
Emma and Ryan Kelly lost their baby daughter when Emma was 19-weeks pregnant. They want to help others going through the same thing.ZIONSVILLE -- The questions came like cruel darts piercing their souls. The cries of newborns were all around. Their baby, Mary Kate, was dead in their arms. Colts' center Ryan Kelly and his wife, Emma, who had just endured a 36-hour labor to deliver a lifeless body, held their daughter. They kissed her forehead. They cried.
"It's the most excruciating pain and the feeling of isolation and loneliness you feel walking out of there without your baby," Emma said."You feel like you're the only two people on earth this has happened to. I labored. I did everything and I don't get my baby. It's all so cruel." All the Kellys wanted was to hear someone say that this was all a bad dream. That Mary Kate was still here.
But it took grief counseling, being open about their journey and endless tears to finally feel as if they weren't drowning. Eleven months after losing Mary Kate, the Kellys have learned how to live, even if it's a completely different life than the one they had before. While Ryan and Emma had grown up five minutes from one another, went to the same elementary school and high school, the two had never met. Emma is three years older than Ryan, 29, so their paths didn't cross.
On a jog one morning in August 2021, Emma noticed her breasts were hurting. She took a pregnancy test and stared at the results in shock. She walked away and came back to look again. She was going to have a baby. Until Emma handed him a bag with the positive pregnancy results and that onesie. Ryan stood in shock, stepping back, putting his hands up."No way," he said."What?" When Emma finally convinced him this was real, that they were having a baby, he picked Emma up and swung her around the kitchen.Her pregnancy was perfect, everything seemed perfect. Emma had a little nausea and fatigue in the first trimester but, when the second trimester hit, she got a second wind.
"It was honestly one of the happiest days of my life because we found out she was a girl and we both really wanted a girl. Ryan always said he wanted to be a girl dad," Emma said."It was, I don't know the word, euphoric. It was all just too good to be true.with the Kellys announcing their baby girl aired, Emma was in a hospital bed getting an ultrasound when the nurse stopped talking and walked out of the room to get the doctor.There is no way to know the day Mary Kate died.
"I've got to go to the hospital. Something's up," Emma told Thornton."Don't scare Ryan. Don't tell him anything. If, for whatever reason, he can't get ahold of me when he's out of practice, just let him know where I'm at." Emma knew, she said. She knew that second that Mary Kate was gone. What came next was a dark blur."The doctor came in and that was it," Emma said."She didn't have a heartbeat."
The Kellys went home that evening and they sobbed. They called their family and friends with words they never wanted to say."We lost Mary Kate." Emma's doctor called and tried, as gently as she could, to lead them through what the next day would be like. But their doctor had told them they should take time to spend with Mary Kate. They should hold her."She's real. She matters. You want this time."
A few days later, Emma shared pictures from the hospital on the day of her delivery, pictures of her and Ryan holding Mary Kate. And that is why they are telling their story now, one that never gets any easier to tell. They want people to know about an organization called, whose focus is to prevent stillbirths, a program that has already saved hundreds of babies' lives.
It's no different than an adult getting sick and slowing down, maybe lying on the couch or having to go to bed. But because babies are inside their mothers' wombs, it's not always as easy to tell when they are sick. While the Count The Kicks app wouldn't have saved Mary Kate, who the Kellys lost in the second trimester, Dr. Roop said she believes what they went through, their loss, can help show other parents why this is so important.
The butterfly has become a symbol for the Kellys, a symbol of Mary Kate. Ryan put a blue butterfly on his Pro Bowl helmet last season."The butterfly has come to us in so many ways," Emma said.
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