It’s possible to break the cycle and resolve deep-set tensions by reversing your usual scripts, says psychotherapist Esther Perel.
Perhaps the trickiest kind of relationship conflict to address is the long-term or lingering conflict, largely because it tends to underscore every interaction, boxing both partners into particular roles. In the dynamic of the late partner and the punctual partner, for example, the first one gets put into the “careless” box, while the second becomes the “responsible” one, says Perel.
“People tend to add to the escalation of a long-term conflict, leading their partner to do and say the opposite of what they actually want.” —Esther Perel, psychotherapist and relationships expert
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