'Nothing could have prepared me.'
The truth is, nothing could have prepared me for having even oneonce doesn’t mean I’m an expert at raising teens. Sure, it helps to reflect on our own experiences, but our kids are individuals with different needs and feelings. They aren’t going to handle things the way we did, and it took me a few years into my parenting-teens journey to realize that.
I didn’t force them to. Instead, I went ahead and did fun things without them — like going to our favorite fast food joint, or on a hike. If they wanted their burger and fries, or to watch the dog out on the trails, they had to come along. I want my kids to be comfortable in their own skin and this is what makes them feel that way. I used to ask them to change, or tell them they couldn’t go somewhere in their pajamas. They hated it, we’d fight, and they wouldn’t want to go. The day would be ruined.
Not all kids are excellent students with a drive to further their education. Not all kids are outgoing. They aren’t cookie cutters. They are individuals.We’ve all seen parents who want their kids to excel in sports, go to school where they did, or follow in their career footsteps. My children couldn’t be more different than me and their father.
This has a lot to do with his drive and determination. And just because your child isn’t passionate about one area of life doesn’t mean they won’t find something that lights their fire. But you have to let them find it.This isn’t the time to argue with them, or tell them they shouldn’t be hurt. All that does is devalue them and make them feel like their feelings aren’t valid. Guess what comes next? Silence.
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