Today marks three years since NYC reported its first COVID death. Since then, more than 45,000 New Yorkers have succumbed across the five boroughs, according to the CDC.
Processing COVID grief early in the pandemic, Spilka said, stood in stark contrast to the way people typically mourn – many had to say goodbye to their loved ones virtually, or spent a long period of time after a loss on their own. Deaths from the coronavirus also often resulted in “secondary losses,” she said – some people had to move, some families lost income and some children had to change guardians, schools, and communities.
“We didn't have the usual rituals – getting together and remembering stories,” Koenig said. “I basically came home and sat there by myself, wallowing on whatever was bothering me, and went through the summer.”In COVID Survivors for Change’s weekly support group, participants learn coping strategies for grief and share the challenges and breakthroughs they’ve each experienced.
“It's like they're accusing your loved one of something,” Kpoto said. “You're constantly being traumatized every day by some comments somebody makes or some reaction that they have, or even the fact that they don't even acknowledge that your loved one even passed from this deadly disease.” But even those who haven’t had a loved one pass from the virus still have had their lives changed as a result of COVID-19’s fallout, said Spilka, the bereavement counselor.
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