'So many things are completely different — things I didn't even realize were wrong while with my ex.'
Women Who Are In Healthy Relationships After A Toxic Or Abusive One Are Sharing The Biggest Differences, And It Truly Gives Me HopeWhen you're in an unhealthy relationship, it's usually hard to recognize the toxicity or abuse — at least, right away. So, whenwomen who are in healthy relationships after having been in toxic or abusive ones about the biggest difference they've noticed, many came forward to share their experiences.
"I feel safe — physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually. I'm also a lot happier. I was happy without my current boyfriend, too, but he's added more happiness to my life rather than stress. I am not worried about ruining his day by mentioning I'm upset about something. If I say I'm upset, he'll listen. He respects that my job can be stressful . He helps clean up around the house; he cares about if my mood seems off.
"The person I'm currently dating doesn't have to be asked or begged to spend time with me. She does it on her own because she likes spending time with me." "Now, when we have an argument, I feel like everything will still be okay. I'm safe; he's safe. There's no sense of impending doom, no fear, and no bullying or pettiness. We lay out our differences of opinion, thoughts, and ideas for resolution. When it's done, it's done; I'm not waiting for retaliation or a power play."
"Being around my partner gives me energy and reduces stress. Being around my ex drained me of energy and increased stress. Sadly, it took me a really long time to realize that, but thankfully, I did. I didn't fully realize it was an abusive relationship until a while after I managed to properly end it. They didn’t get abusive overnight; it snuck up on me, as it does for so many.
"I can talk about my issues and feelings now without them taking it personally or as an attack. Previously, my only options were to prepare for a nasty argument or suffer in silence." "I no longer feel like I have to talk about how little I ate that day in order to prove that I'm getting skinnier. I'm also not worried about being called 'trashy' for the length of my shorts. My current boyfriend never stops telling me how good I look."
Meanwhile, as retribution, my ex would either 1) stay silent and then blow up weeks later, 2) threaten to cheat, 3) make an advance on another woman to boost his self-esteem , 4) shame or put me down for something he was previously fine with, or 5) wait a few days before crying about what a terrible person he was while blaming me for making him feel that way. Whatever problem I'd brought up would be half-heartedly worked on and abandoned shortly after.
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