Why Some Adults May Still Have an Infantile Personality

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Why Some Adults May Still Have an Infantile Personality
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Some people never progress much past their childhood selves, displaying pouty moods and immature theatrics long into adulthood. Here's how therapists try to help them 'grow up.'

A good analogy for those who have not encountered this presentation is to imagine a personality with simultaneous arrested development in middle school and the terrible two's .Anyone who has worked with histrionic patients knows that the point of therapy is to essentially help them grow up. They’re technically having age-appropriate responses to their environment if viewed as an arrested state of development. Therefore, it’s the therapist’s job to get them developing again and caught up.

The infantile personality may bring an additional challenge of managing clinginess. Given the strong, problematic emotional components, it can be easy to lose sight of what’s going on in the background. While we want the patient to develop a deep/meaningful relationship with us, we need to be aware of the potential for dependence. Therefore, it is equally important to be cultivating a sense of independence along the way.

Applying a strengths-based narrative next session: “Earlier in the week, you wanted to talk about X and Y on the phone. How did you end up dealing with those?” Examining what they did and how they arrived at it, showing they managed without your getting directly involved, helps foster a sense of independence.

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