Lessons from my French in-laws on treating each day like a special occasion.
In the house where I grew up, we had two living rooms: a formal one that we weren’t allowed to sit in, and the other that housed the television and, often, our overflowing toys and books. When my French husband visited my family home for the first time, the dual living room situation confused him: The house isn’t particularly large, and my parents don’t regularly host guests, so the formal living room sat empty most of the time.
My parents’ hesitance to use nice things isn’t limited to furniture, unfortunately. My dad was once gifted a great pair of loafers that he rarely wore—and now that he needs to wear supportive sneakers, he has little reason to. On that same visit, I unearthed a bottle of good whiskey that has probably been sitting in the pantry for a decade , and spied all the beauty products I’ve ever sent my mom for her birthdays—still in their packaging.
Meanwhile, on our annual visits to my in-laws in Southwest France, I noted how my husband's family effortlessly incorporated items and rituals that I’d normally consider indulgences into everyday life. After one particular visit, it finally clicked for me: the nice things we have only hold value if we allow ourselves to enjoy them. It took a few years, but I’ve now finally rid myself of the guilt associated with taking pleasure in owning the good stuff.
One of my favorite apartments to visit in France is our cousins’ home in Toulouse. It has a modern dining table surrounded by Eames-style dining chairs and a sitting area with a nesting coffee table to expand for when they have guests. The art and mementos that hang around the apartment are so authentically them—books on street art, a Toulouse rugby ball on display, the family photos alongside artwork by the kids—nothing feels staged or extraneous.
Clutter is minimal but not completely absent. After all, a pile of book or pieces of mail left around are simply signs of life. I’ve taken that approach when decorating our current apartment by hanging photos that we love, dragging an antique street sign home from France to put on the mantle, saving up for a Moroccan tea table I’ve been eyeing for years.
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