What questions do parents have when their child says they might be transgender? We spoke to pediatricians, endocrinologists, psychiatrists, and researchers. Here’s what they said.
, it can be hard for parents to tell which came first—and tempting to blame the former on the latter.
Taking steps toward social transition, like using a preferred name and pronouns, can help parents better understand the nuances of their child’s distress, adds Laura Kuper, a child and adolescent psychologist in Dallas.
Noah plays baseball and took up the drums a few years ago. In a recent performance at his summer camp’s Rock Cafe, he and his bandmates chose to play “Song 2” by the British rock band Blur. “It was a lot of fun—and really, really loud.
Data don’t always soothe a parent’s fears, but what may help is knowing that transitioning is not like flipping a switch. “It’s a gradual process, taken step by step,” says Kuper; treatment can be stopped at any time if the child no longer feels comfortable with the changes they’re seeing. Some medical changes, like vocal shifts resulting from testosterone treatment, are generally permanent, but plenty of others, like puberty or menstruation suppression, are reversible.
Parents often feel the need to shield their child from their own complex feelings, and it’s certainly wise that they not say hurtful things as they work through their own Especially in less accepting communities, respecting a child’s wishes might mean waiting to disclose, either briefly or indefinitely. If a child is bullied for their gender, that may change parental calculations. “But it’s still important to move forward in a way that respects a child’s wishes,” says Cyperski. Asking them who at school they feel safest with and developing a plan together gives kids an opportunity to stay involved and retain some control over the disclosure.
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