The Netflix show shows a portion of the process. Here's what it leaves out.
— sets up Jewish people from around the world. A lot of the show resonated with me, but didn’t quite capture the whole story of what it’s like to date as an Orthodox Jewish woman.
Many of the questions are related to Orthodox culture, like: What is your modesty level? Do you want your husband to do Torah studies? Do you have a preference as to how many times a day your husband prays? Would you be willing to compromise on the amount of time? But we also go over more basic questions like the character traits we’re looking for and the TV shows we watch .
The show definitely put more of an emphasis on looks than we do in real life. Looks are only a small part — we emphasize values, lifestyle, character, and personality are the factors that we put the most emphasis on when it comes to a match. Not the size or shape of a person’s eyebrows . Another upside of the matchmaker is there’s no ghosting: You always hear back, even if the other person doesn’t want to move forward. There’s no waiting by the phone for days, wondering if the other person is interested in going on another date. The matchmaker makes sure to facilitate and move things along, whether it’s to continue or end a relationship. Rejection is more dignified. The matchmaker will try to soften the “no.” People feel like human beings.
So, how has my dating journey turned out? Well … it’s still going. About 10 years later, I’ve learned a lot about myself and staying true to my values — even if it means going against the norm.
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