Romanticizing an ex is common, but it’s not helpful, says Sara Kuburic, also known as the Millennial Therapist. But romanticizing an ex and thinking about them are not the same thing.
But romanticizing an ex and thinking about them are not the same thing. I'm often asked by people how they can stop thinking about someone they haven't been in a relationship with for years.
If you are romanticizing an ex, meaning, you are only remembering the positives , you’ll end up convincing yourself that the relationship was better or more appealing than it actually was. So, if you find yourself romanticizing, here are a couple of things that can help you stop: More often we do things for a reason. Sometimes it can feel easier to ignore or minimize the complexity of past relationships as a way to not have to deal with it.
When we romanticize we ignore the arguments, tears and the heartbreak. We forget it wasn’t a perfect relationship and that it ended for a reason. Remember that reason. Trust that people who left your life weren’t meant to be there. And, if there is genuine regret about the relationship ending, remember that a way to process regret is to embrace a lesson–– living in the past is not the answer. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing our ex to our new partner. This is unfair for many reasons.
Romanticizing can prevent you from living in the present and being in relationships that you deserve –– don’t let it!
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