'I realize now that everyone has a closet. We are all born out of sync with external expectations as we perceive them. In our own ways, none of us fits in,' writes jessiwrites. 'We began to find one another when we found ourselves'
full-time. Our earliest years were crammed with dance lessons, playdates, and birthday parties that Mom planned and hosted herself.
For me, as for my siblings and my father, coming into alignment with myself meant coming to terms with my sexuality. Not every coming out looks like that, but for us, being queer was a reason to engage deeply in the process of self-actualization. In doing so, we gained community beyond our family—and, crucially, within it. We began to find one another when we found ourselves.
The next day, I was perched at the breakfast bar when he stopped in the kitchen to pour himself a bowl of Grape Nuts with skim milk. “I thought I was gay once, too,” he said.Dad drained the last of his milk with a quick slurp and stood to grab his briefcase. “Well, you make choices,” he said. “I married your mom.” Then he headed out to work. I stood in the kitchen, dumbstruck, starting to piece together a truth that would take much more time to see clearly.
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