As You Are has developed a loyal and diverse LGBTQ clientele since opening its doors last spring. They come for a sense of safety and community they say they can’t find anywhere else.
But the graffiti at As You Are, a queer bar in Southeast D.C., are a distinct blend of the personal and political, where affirmation and social justice rallying cries live side by side:I Love KateThis spirit colors more than the bathroom wall. At the front door, staff members refer to you as “friend” instead of “sir” or “ma’am.” An inclusive Pride flag runs the length of the outdoor patio.
Codes of conduct are certainly not unique to As You Are. The New York speakeasy Milk & Honey, founded in 1999, had a famous list of rules that were cast in bronze and affixed to the bathroom doors at each of the bar’s locations. They included, but were not limited to, “Gentlemen will not introduce themselves to ladies” and “no name-dropping.
“I have never been touched or groped here,” Stetes said. “I can’t say the same for the bar that I used to go to all the time.” Even though As You Are is most often referred to as a bar, alcohol is not the center of this universe, which makes it possible for younger people such as Crow to seek refuge or form friendships here.This dynamic has been true for most LGBTQ bars for the better part of the past century, offering a respite that few other public places could, said Denise Spivak, CEO of Centerlink, which supports LGBTQ community centers across the country.
The founders are both partners and longtime service industry workers. They understand all too well how the decisions managers make — or don’t make — can shape a bar’s culture.
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