Dear How to Do It: At first, I thought it was funny and charming. But it's crossed a line.
for her insight, and she has several specific recommendations:
“Before jumping into your question, I have to say: go you! I love that you love the sex you and your husband have and it sounds like y’all communicate well and are open to experimentation. But onto your concerns about cumming during and/or from penetrative sex… Unfortunately, it would be hard for me to determine if there is a reliable way you might cum faster. But I do have a few ideas for some things you might try, ones that would also perhaps relieve your husband’s wrist/fingers and allow you to experience additional stimulation during penetration: First, you might try adding in some vibration.
Y’all might also try muffing. Muffing is a sex act that involves penetrating the inguinal canals of folks with external gonads. Described in great detail by Mira Bellwether in her indispensable zine, muffing is another form of fingering that might feel equally gender euphoric for you and potentially bring a ton of pleasure. As for other suggestions for anal play, you might try butt plugs or other insertables .
As for your concerns about bottom surgery: I hear and validate those concerns! No one can promise particular forms of sensation, but I can say two things: Most surgeons do their best to preserve as much nerve function as possible in creating a new pussy. Sometimes sensation is elusive just after surgery but with proper and consistent post-surgical care, patience, and a willingness to swan dive into the awkward, it often returns.
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