Men who tend to avoid emotional intimacy can have happier relationships if they have exaggerated views of their partner’s empathy.
Positive illusions benefit relationships, fostering satisfaction and stability.As Valentine’s Day approaches, you may be thinking about how to celebrate with your romantic partner —going out dancing, buying their favourite flowers, or making a special meal. These thoughtful gestures might bring some momentary joy to your relationship, but perhaps this Valentine’s Day is a chance to think about how to keep your relationship happy in the long run.
Mei is a pretty caring person, and she does small things like putting gas in Derek’s car when she knows he has a busy week or listening to his work problems even when she’s had a bad day too. Derek raves to friends about how loving and understanding she is. Derek sees Mei as even more caring than she would describe herself, and even more caring than her friends and family would describe her.
Unsurprisingly, couples who had positive illusions also had happier relationships. The more spouses saw the best in their partner and believed that their partner was understanding, the more satisfied they both were in their relationship. The opposite was also true: Spouses who did not have positive illusions, or those who had negative illusions—seeing their partner in a more negative light than was true—were less happy in their relationship.
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