“My mother remodeled her house while I was away at university, and I had never known where that money had come from. The money was actually meant for me.”
"My mother divorced my stepfather about a year before I began university. I still keep in touch with him now and then. A couple of years ago, he mentioned being glad that I didn't need to struggle with money in university because of the funds he allocated for me during the divorce settlements.""What funds? [It was] apparently around $15,000, which I had never heard about.
"Have you seen evidence in writing that your stepfather actually allocated the $15,000 for you? Was there a university fund set up? Was it meant to come to you directly? When your stepfather mentioned the money to you a few years ago, did you let him know you didn't receive it?" — A commenter said that the daughter is not the asshole for wanting to be paid back, but would be the asshole for demanding the bonus because it likely wouldn't end well."YWBTA if you handled it this way. You have a couple of options: confront your mom to get her side of the story, then decide what to do from there; or, continue to let it go as you have for the past TWO years.
"Her back pay has nothing to do with you, but you do need to find out what happened to that $15,000 your dad told you about. Do not conflate one pot of money with another pot of money. Your mother may owe you $15,000. If you ask for part of the back pay and your mother gives you any amount, she will tell you she can’t afford it and already gave you money if you ask about the $15K again.
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