The Psychology of Feeling Unloved

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The Psychology of Feeling Unloved
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Why love is such a basic human need—and what can happen if people don’t find it, according to glenngeher

We evolved to seek, develop, and cultivate truly loving relationships. And for this reason, feeling unloved, which can happen via a variety of pathways, is about as horrible an experience as one might find in lifeThe older I get, the more convinced I become that the best things in life are free. And of those freebies that have the capacity to make life so worth living, the experience of love—true, genuine, mutual love—is very much the key to happiness, growth, and thriving at all levels.

On the flip side, feeling unloved, for any number of reasons, is about as low a feeling as one might ever experience. If you ever find yourself feeling unloved , from a Maslowian perspective, it makes full sense that seeking love should be a core goal toward emotional restoration and balance. Want to get the most out of the ride during your limited time here? I say that, in one way or another, you might want to seek out truly loving relationships. As Maslow wrote years ago, love genuinely is a foundational experience toward thriving at all levels. When Paul McCartney and John Lennon sang, in 1967,"all you need is love," they totally nailed it.1: Maslow, A.H. . A theory of human motivation. Psychological Review. 50 : 370–96.3: Fisher, H. .

4: Acevedo BP, Poulin MJ, Geher G, Grafton S, Brown LL. . The neural and genetic correlates of satisfying sexual activity in heterosexual pair‐bonds. Brain Behav. 2019;e01289.Geher, G. & Wedberg, N. . Positive Evolutionary Psychology: Darwin’s Guide to Living a Richer Life. New York: Oxford University Press.

6: De’Jesús, A. R., Cristo, M., Ruel, M., Kruchowy, D., Geher, G., Nolan, K., Santos, A., Wojszynski, C., Alijaj, N., DeBonis, A., Elyukin, N., Huppert, S., Maurer, E., Spackman, B. C., Villegas, A., Widrick, K., & Zezula, V. . Betrayal, Outrage, Guilt, and Forgiveness: The Four Horsemen of the Human Social-Emotional Experience. The Journal of the Evolutionary Studies Consortium, 9, 1-13.

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