From the Archives: On the 407 miles of open road between home and a Montana abortion clinic, a woman has a lot of time to think about how she got from there to here.
She had made a plan and now there was nothing left to do but follow it: a map in the console, a caffeinated tea in the cupholder, a tank filled with enough gas that she wouldn’t have to stop for hours. Now Emily sat in front of her house in Wyoming and made a final preparation, picking up her phone and typing in an address for anIt was 3:21 in the morning.
“I heard it was supposed to be nice in Missoula,” she said, as two comedians interviewed each other on a podcast. She had researched the city, trying to find a way to picture this drive as a road trip. Missoula had a good museum and sunny weather and open-minded people, she’d heard, like the people in the beach town where she grew up. “I wish I could enjoy the city more,” she said. She turned up the volume on her iPod. One comedian ribbed the other about being too handsome.
“Children deserve so much. And if you don’t start with a solid platform, how can you ever give them that?” Her phone rang. “I’m in Montana now,” she told the friend who had called to check in. “I started driving at 3:30, I’ve been driving for a while now.” Emily kept driving. The man started to talk about his daughter: how he pictured her growing up, learning to ride a bike, ride a school bus, have a boyfriend. He talked about how now, if he had a turbulent plane ride, it wasn’t his life that flashed before his eyes, but his child’s. “My life is not just mine anymore; in a large part it belongs to this little person,” he explained to the audience. “If you have a kid, you’re vulnerable, and they’re so vulnerable without you.”The podcast finished.
Instead she’d left the clinic and gone to a grocery store, and while she looked for Tylenol in the pharmacy aisle, her mother called. “They talked to me the whole time,” Emily told her. “The doctor had been to Africa, too, so we talked about that . . . I love you, too.” The misoprostol made her double over with cramps and sway with nausea; the worker brought her a heating pad and took her to a private room with comfortable armchairs and a thick diary where other women had written about their experiences in the clinic. “It took me awhile to come to this decision, but it’s what’s best,” read one entry.
Emily now scratched off the third square on her moose-moose lottery ticket. A buck. She finished scratching off the other squares.She put on a podcast, and the host was discussing a study, about crime rates and youth arrests, and how they happened more in poor and single-parent households.
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