The family dynamics that make estate planning hard paid Whittier Trust
To effectively address complicated family issues, communication with your heirs — including candid conversations while you’re alive and a “letter of wishes” to be read during the estate transition — is often extremely beneficial, said Kimberly Frasca-Delaney, a vice president and client advisor for Whittier Trust.
But it’s often important for parents to explain their goals and objectives as well as the reasons for their choices. Grayson also recommends that parents consider giving at least some money to each sibling, rather than completely cutting anyone out of the will, and include an explanation for the disparity. Some estate planners include a stipulation that the “disinherited” heir will lose even that smaller amount if he or she sues. Such a clause may be a deterrent, even in a state where it isn’t enforceable.
The creation of a family foundation can bring families together to work on philanthropic causes — which may eventually bring them together emotionally, said Grayson. One female client married a partner who wanted to use the bulk of the client’s family money to support his business endeavors, which ended up failing. The result was that the couple had to considerably rebuild their finances.
It’s better to proceed cautiously and conservatively in such matters, she said, even if it means offending someone.
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