“The first boy I ever kissed was also the first boy I ever slept with; he was also the first boy who ever gave me a mixtape” – Leslie Jamison
The first boy I ever kissed was also the first boy I ever slept with; he was also the first boy who ever gave me a mixtape, and the first boy I ever fell in love with. You could say I moved quickly, or else you could say I was a late bloomer, depending how you looked at it. All this happened during my senior year of high school.
I was so crazy about Mark that I’d even gone with him to a 311 concert. And even I – generally so malleable to a man’s desires that I could barely discern my own – could tell how shitty their music was. I mean, you didn’t have to call information to find their blandly sugar-coated, hacky-sack pitter-patter stoner riffs both grafted and grating.
When I drove to his house the next night, the last night before I got on an aeroplane to Boston, my heartache was a double-decker heartache: the sting of being rejected, and the shame at how fully this rejection overwhelmed me. It seemed to speak to a lack of inner resources.
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