'I was just so set on losing all the weight and getting skinny that I didn’t do it in a healthy way.'
When I stopped competing and exited that world, I finally felt like I wasn’t being judged anymore—and I wanted nothing to do with being healthy. I hated going to the gym, and I hated eating healthy foods, because those things had such negative connotations for me after trying to fulfill a certain ideal for the pageant world. I gained about 80 pounds, and I didn’t even realize it at first because I was just so unhappy with myself.
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