Small Mercies: (Finally) Knitting for Myself

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Small Mercies: (Finally) Knitting for Myself
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On falling in (and then out) of the trap of optimizing a hobby

Like most anxious people who are into crafting, I fell into the trap of optimizing my hobby, knitting a certain amount of hours a day, and always making sure my latest project was better and more complex than the last

It turns out all of my personal crises were just small gateway drugs to religion, which I embraced like it was the last lifeboat off the Titanic sometime in 2015. This was the year I attempted my own personal knitting Everest—a cardigan, just for myself. I needed this cardigan because I had committed to wearing hijab, and instead of buying an entirely new wardrobe, I thought spending over $100 on yarn and supplies to make a single thing to cover my arms made the most sense.

I went back to the usual programming of making hats and baby blankets but felt like I had worked out a lot of my shit attempting to knit that cardigan. But the seed of sweater making was planted the day I finished making that monstrosity.

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