NEW YORK—Cackling with glee as a violent storm swirled in the skies above, Planned Parenthood CEO Alexis McGill Johnson announced plans Thursday to kill all human sperm via a giant, lightning-powered IUD mounted atop the organization’s headquarters. “Ha ha, ha ha! With this device, I will finally harness the…
NEW YORK—Cackling with glee as a violent storm swirled in the skies above, Planned Parenthood CEO Alexis McGill Johnson announced plans Thursday to kill all human sperm via a giant, lightning-powered IUD mounted atop the organization’s headquarters.
“Ha ha, ha ha! With this device, I will finally harness the ultra-effective birth control method of lightning, and Planned Parenthood will be unstoppable,” said McGill Johnson, who, after putting on goggles, long rubber gloves, and a white lab coat, threw her arms up into the air and screamed as 300 million volts of power coursed through the 50-foot-tall pulsating intrauterine device.
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