In newyorkerhumor, henryalford describes some of the most dangerous sharks among us.
Is less adorable than it sounds. Will never, despite its name, ask you how you’re feeling, or plump your pillow. Is a sedentary bottom-feeder mostly uninterested in humans unless stepped on, thus requiring you to make the effort. Has a bellows-like pharynx that enables it to vacuum its prey into its mouth. Can crush a clam between its teeth. Can rip a full-grown conch out of its shell. Emits, while eating, unsettling sucking and slurping sounds.
” Is so invested in the terms of real-estate negotiation that he will sometimes pick a can off a shelf in a grocery store and ask an employee, “What’s the ask on this tuna?” Is seemingly unaware of you, then descends in a feeding frenzy. Is at the top of the food chain, thus has no reason to evolve.Is six to ten years old. Is among the most intelligent of opportunistic predators. Is lurking near the snack bar in the manner of an unnominated actor at the Oscars.
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