Online Dating, Without the Apps

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Online Dating, Without the Apps
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Online meet-cutes can happen anywhere on the internet, and doesn’t always require swiping

Photo-Illustration: The Cut; Photos: Getty There’s more to online dating than just dating apps. Like confessing, on TikTok, to revenge-buying an ex’s Depop Likes so they can’t have the clothes. In some circles, it is now normal to creep someone’s Letterboxd before a first date. Some people only post to Instagram Stories when they’re in the talking stage, while others wait to see how their crush will react to the laundry list of video essays they sent before asking for a second date.

As Crislin remembers it, the DM went something like, “Hey, you’re really gorgeous, you’re funny as fuck, and I just wanted to remind you of that today.” Upon reading it, she thought, My wife just DM’d me. Scrolling through her own feed, she saw that Natalie had liked her weird tweet about bagel holes.

They met again when his livestream came up on her FYP. They mostly talked about their shared love of music at first. Delaney’s TikTok shared every side of herself — singing challenges, acting challenges, story times — and Jack says he was originally drawn to how much of a mixed bag her profile was. “I thought this person was just brimming with personality and whether what I’m seeing is real or fake, I want to learn more,” he tells me. “And then I did.

Lockdown expanded and further entrenched a lot of social activity into the internet — to the exclusion of many. We are far more accustomed to working, socializing, communing, grocery shopping, masturbating, crying, healing, and being hurt online. And we’re growing increasingly comfortable with the idea that it’s okay to do all of this over Wi-Fi. While this level of enmeshment can trigger some technophobic anxieties, it’s not new.

A shared interest also helped Molly and Oliver, two 25-year-olds from Leeds, meet on the social e-commerce app Depop. She is into “trainers” and streetwear; he is into “football” and sportswear. He started following her on Instagram after realizing he’d bought stuff from her more than once, hoping to catch drops before she posted them on Depop. “On Depop, it’s set in stone,” Oliver explains.

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