Sometimes the best insights come when you're not sure what to say and just allow yourself to be vulnerable with your therapist. RyanHowesPhD explains how.
Not planning gives you space to be more vulnerable.You’re three minutes late. You can’t find parking. You run to the office.You don’t even have time to sit in the waiting room, she’s already let you in. “Welcome,” she says, in her usual tone. You finally take your seat and turn off your phone. Deep breath.You aren’t prepared for your therapy session. Time and money are on the line, and you’re drawing a blank. You’re kicking yourself for not taking the time to prepare.
Let’s back up. It’s completely understandable for you to prepare. You came to find relief from a problem, so you want to make sure you’re covering all aspects of that problem. You plan to share all of the details while giving plenty of time for the professional to opine with their observations and recommendations. This time costs money, so you want to get the most from each moment. You give the A + B, they provide the=C, right? That’s how it works in other professions.
There’s an important difference between therapy and those examples. I like to say therapy is both the lecture and the laboratory. By this, I mean therapy is a"lecture" where you receive tools and observations and insights , but it’s also a laboratory where you let your problems be shown in real-time and you work on the solution together.
Let’s say that you came to therapy because you’re struggling with anxiety that makes it difficult to perform your best at work and it’s hard to connect with your friends and family. This is a common problem, and nothing to be ashamed of. If you came to therapy always well-prepared and clear about your topic for the day, you’d get a good “lecture” about relaxation and, tools that could help you a great deal. This is good head knowledge, stuff you can apply if you remember to do so.
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