'I wish I could have hugged him longer.'
Ultimately, Cannon and Scott decided to forgo invasive treatments that would've required Zen to stay in the hospital and endure significant pain and discomfort. Instead, Zen's parents wanted to focus on giving their baby the highest possible quality of life in the time he had left. “We could have had that existence where he would've had to live in the hospital, hooked up to machines, for the rest of the time,” Cannon explained.
The focus shifted to making Zen “as happy as he could possibly be" and cherishing their remaining time together, Cannon said. "We focused on Disneyland, our favorite place," he said. "Every month we would celebrate his birthday, just really seeing it as a victory every time he had a milestone that he was still here with us."
Around Thanksgiving, Zen's conditioned worsened, his breathing becoming erratic as his tumor rapidly enlarged and increased the pressure in his head. "You could tell he was struggling," Cannon recalled. “He was gasping for air. We'd wake up, and he wouldn't be breathing for maybe 5 to 10 seconds at a time, and then he'd let out a huge gasp. You could see it frightened him. It was the scariest thing I've ever experienced.
Cannon took time off to be with his son and spent the whole following weekend with Zen. On that Sunday, December 5, Cannon and Scott took Zen to the beach for sunrise. "I was like, 'We have to watch the sun rise and just be there with him one last time,'" Cannon said. "It was beautiful." Zen died later that day. "I see it as a blessing that I got to be there," Cannon said. "We had a short time with a true angel," the grieving father added.
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