'The hardest part, though, is not taking in what others say and do but knowing what they’re missing. Underneath his challenging behavior, my kid is awesome,' writes Melissa Petro
The Family Time the Pandemic Stole
When the world reopened, we sent our high-spirited 3-year-old to our local public preschool, but Oscar never fell into line, and traditional methods to control his behavior exacerbated the issues. At our first meeting with the committee on special education, his dad and I got the message that we were overly permissive. Our child needed to hear firmer no.
One-on-one and when he is relaxed, Oscar is clever, funny, creative, curious, and kind, but a typical classroom with 20-something kids overwhelms him. At his public school, he’d move around the room, nonverbal, ignoring adults’ redirection, pulling things down from the walls and pushing into other kids. By November, after other parents complained, Oscar’s hours had been reduced from full-time to just two per day.Days after we got this news, we hosted Thanksgiving.
Today, Oscar is at a Waldorf school for children with special needs, a low-demand environment for children who need social-emotional learning. It’s a place that drops rewards and sanctions and prioritizes co-regulation. A place where my child can be himself and access appropriate accommodations for his nervous system. A place where I know my child is safe and where I needn’t be hypervigilant of other people’s judgments of my parenting.
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