Dear Care and Feeding: She was in a play and got hooked.
I have a teen who enjoys musical theater. During summer camp when she was still quite young, she was in a play and got hooked. I signed her up for an after-school theater program where she made some great friends so I was thrilled. I then signed her up for voice lessons. We went to at least one musical each year.
Her after-school program emphasized equity, everyone had equal lines and they rotated lead roles from one production to the next. While this seems great in theory, in practice it contributed to some not-so-great self-awareness about her singing skills. As a result, middle school musical theater was a rude awakening. She thought she was a shoo-in for a good part on the basis of having been in theater for “years” and told everyone she was trying out for the lead. She did not even get called back.
Over the years, most of the kids in her original theater program have come to the realization on their own that this isn’t for them and have pursued other interests. This is not happening with my daughter. I’ve taken her to several high school musicals so that she gains awareness about the depth of talent in our community, but this has only encouraged her to continue auditioning. She has now decided the middle school drama teacher doesn’t like her and that’s why she’s not getting the parts.
If she enjoyed being part of the ensemble, it would be one thing. But she’s generally miserable, unable to get over not getting a part, and she then takes it out on her sibling. There’s also the issue that once you agree to be in the musical, you have to keep all of your weekdays free for three months. She’s rarely asked to come in, so she just sits at home instead of participating in other clubs.
But maybe it’s true that your daughter simply can’t compete with the other kids talent-wise. To me, though, that wouldn’t be an issue if she was also having fun. After all, you don’t have to be a top-tier dancer to enjoy taking a dance class or have perfect pitch to have a blast at karaoke. There is a lot to be learned from participating in theater, from self-expression to social interaction, without having to be a prodigy.
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