Dear Pay Dirt: I don't think he realizes just how well off I am.
My husband grew up poor in a single-parent household. I grew up better off, with both parents making six figures. My parents were both good at saving, and good at investing money wisely. My husband knows we were better off but I don’t think he realizes justwell off. I’m just wondering if I should prepare him in some way for when my mom passes away, or go the “Surprise! We get a third of a multi-million dollar estate” route.
I’m surprised that you’re married and your husband is not already aware of this. As a general rule, no one likes financial surprises from their closest loved ones, even if they’re good developments, so I would err on the side of telling him now. You’ll want to do some financial planning for that inevitability anyway, so there’s no real point in leaving it a secret until your mom passes away, other than your own reluctance to discuss it.
If you think the conversation is going to be uncomfortable, couch it in the need for long-term planning. You don’t have to drop it on your husband like a bomb; just note that he’s probably already aware that your parents are well-off, and you’d like to discuss how to plan for a potential inheritance. Then give him a sense of what that might mean in terms of actual assets.
So this cannot and should not be a financial decision in its entirety. If you were still experiencing extreme poverty, that would be a good reason to at least consider postponing parenthood, but you are in a situation that is workable. The real question is, do you want a child? Not everyone does, and you absolutely shouldn’t go down that road if you’re only thinking about this because it’s “time.” The answer may also be yes, but maybe not right now. That’s fine, too.
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