Dear How to Do It: Too many people have left her or unintentionally insulted her because of her job.
Let’s remove the sexual labor aspect from this for a moment as a fun thought experiment. So I’ve been dating a wonderful woman I’ve known and been in love with since we were both teenagers. I’m even getting ready to propose to her. However, a problem has come up. She’s working harder because I wasn’t able to work for a while. Her job requires a lot of energy and effort and she’s doing that much more of it right now to help us continue to live comfortably.
But I think that the better you can project the empathy that comes from being in the exact same situation in reverse, I think the better off you’ll be, the more understanding you’ll be. And the easier it will be to choose your words because you’ve been there inevitably. What you lay out suggests that you have been.
I don’t think it’s unfair to talk about achieving work-life balance and to talk about, or at least to check in like, “Look, you’re busy at work, etc., but do you think that sex is important in terms of our connection?” And maybe the girlfriend doesn’t think that. Maybe it’s just not a thing. And in that case, look, nine times out of 10, ain’t bad. It seems like what you have is this really good connection you found, you found each other and you’re very complimentary.
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