He says the math says it all.
I have exactly one child, and they are indeed expensive. If you’re not independently wealthy, you will absolutely have to forgo some things you’d otherwise spend on. But as you acknowledge, people have children all the time with far fewer resources than you have and they make it work. It is truly appalling that we live in one of the only developed countries that does not, as a matter of policy, support new families with things like paid leave. Still, there are ways.
First, you have to accept that circumstances are never going to be perfectly ideal. No matter how much you plan and save, it’s still going to be hard, especially during the first year. It’s also unlikely that you will be able to perfectly control the timing if you choose to have a child. Getting pregnant isn’t a straightforward process for a lot of people.That said, you have a lot of advantages. You both have jobs. Your family lives nearby. You make middle-class money.
The best hack for making it work financially, however, is finding your village now and leaning into opportunities to share resources and information. You can share the cost of child care, buy necessary items used or borrow things that you’ll only need for a short time. My 8-year-old son’s wardrobe is something like 65 percent hand-me-downs and this has not damaged his hilariously specific sense of style.It’ll also be reassuring to you to hear from people in similar circumstances.
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