AskABoss: 'My gentle attempts to draw the line between our roles have fallen on totally deaf ears. Is there a way I can say, “Please do your own dirty work” that doesn’t sound like I just want to avoid responsibility?'
I switched to a new team within my company last year, working on a project that was understaffed until several of us were brought on.
Recently, Megan has initiated direct conversations with me about Joe’s future on the team. Rather than simply asking for my opinion and observations as a task manager and colleague , she has been asking me to discuss “what we want to do about” the issue and asking me what my proposal is. Most recently, she asked me to develop criteria that we could measure Joe’s performance progress against . I am anticipating that once those are agreed on, she may ask me to then manage that process with him.
I am still new to the team and can tell that taking care of this issue for Megan, one way or another, would be a big plus for my standing with her. But I’m uncomfortable with it and just downright don’t want to. My gentle attempts to draw the line between our roles have fallen on totally deaf ears.
But framing it as figuring out “what we should do” and asking what your proposal is sound as if she’s trying to make you take the lead on a difficult situation so she doesn’t have to. And this isn’t just “Hey, can you do this database work because I hate it?” — this is “Can you act as a manager when you aren’t a manager and don’t have the authority underpinning the work I’m asking you to do?” That’s just not something you could do even if you didn’t mind the request.
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