Miss Manners: What’s a polite way to make sure I get the painting when she dies?

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Miss Manners: What’s a polite way to make sure I get the painting when she dies?
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I’ve told my friend more than once what I want. Can I tell her chidren as well?

DEAR MISS MANNERS:

She insists on trying to “help,” but her anxious nature only makes things more difficult. She comes up to me while I am rinsing dishes and loading the dishwasher, puts her face an inch or two from mine and asks how she can help. I have asked her to please sit down, relax and enjoy the evening, and I’ve outright said I would prefer to do things independently in the kitchen.

It all feels a bit rude, and it’s not pleasant to have a guest tell you what to do in your own home. I don’t want to dread her visits or feel irritated every time she stays with us, so I’d be grateful for any suggestions you may have for making these occasions more tolerable.Stepmother-in-law needs a handler: a family member whose job for the evening is to keep her distracted and out of your way.

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