Must she invite the disreputable relatives?
However, she worries that if she invites great-aunts and great-uncles on our side of the family, she would be obliged to invite her father’s siblings as well. Does etiquette provide any solution to this dilemma?So one defense when excluding relatives is to claim to be throwing a small wedding — a position that is more easily defended when the number of invitations is low, or when the bride is willing to maintain, without flinching, that the wedding is small.
Although it is not an etiquette principle, Miss Manners would also recognize as legitimate the decision to exclude those with pending arrest warrants.Some years ago, I befriended a co-worker. Even though we do not work together anymore, we keep in touch from time to time. When his mother died, I went to the church service to give my condolences.
I gave him, his wife and his brother a hug and some words of comfort, but I did not address his other siblings. I know who they are, but I can’t remember ever having so much as a casual chat with any of them. Should I have also given them my condolences? Was I petty in not offering them a gesture of sympathy, even though we are not acquainted?Yes. Not knowing all of the grieving family members is not an uncommon situation, and Miss Manners is confident that those closest to the deceased would prefer an expression of sympathy from a stranger to seeing a turned back and wondering who that was.
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