Miss Manners: Must I close the shade on the airplane if I’m asked to?

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Miss Manners: Must I close the shade on the airplane if I’m asked to?
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The other passenger can watch a movie anytime, but I’m seeing something rare.

What should have been included was that you will have to suspend, for a time, normal expectations about your control of the space around you — or to put it more succinctly, to share.

Tell your seatmate you are happy to close the shade during his movie but would like to have it open as you cross the mountains, or whenever the movement of the aircraft suggests there is something worth seeing.I was talking with a colleague the other day when he referred to his “baby mama” and how he had helped her through a recent illness. Upon the conclusion of our conversation, I wished him and his “friend and, uh, baby mama” good health.

I love that families come in all shapes and sizes, but I have a hard time with the term “baby mama.” It is grammatically incorrect. Besides that, was it a demotion to call her a “friend”? Or does “baby mama” imply that she and my colleague have no greater allegiance to each other than their baby?GENTLE READER:

As your friend’s situation becomes less unusual, a respectful term to describe the mother of his child will have to be found. Miss Manners agrees that, even if one were willing to throw grammar to the wind, your friend’s nomenclature is not it. A respectful term would not infantilize the bearer, which may be why we have no evidence that the woman in question uses it herself. There are many grammatical ways to avoid using this term without the challenge of contradicting it, from “I wish you and Susan the best with little Georgie” to “That’s great! I can’t wait to meet everybody.”

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