Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
: My best friend and I graduated from college together 50 years ago. We have fished together all these years and had many wonderful times.
He and his wife would send Christmas cards and birthday cards expressing their love for me. He would say that I made his life a joy through my friendship, and his life would not be the same without me. As for the bigger problem, it seems your friend has started feeling threatened by you, for reasons either real or imagined. An apology about the shoulder rub will present an opportunity to find out what is going on and if there is anything you inadvertently did to anger him.
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