I grew a beard to stop the comparisons. Now I look like a different unattractive celebrity.
In the past, I have only mentioned to people that they bore a resemblance to a famous person when the celebrity in question was generally acknowledged as physically attractive — and also that the person I was complimenting needed a self-esteem boost. I would never tell anyone that they resembled someone who was widely known for their lack of physical attributes.
When it happens, I just laugh and say, “Yes, that’s not the first time I’ve heard that,” but I don’t feel like laughing. How can the hurtfulness of such a social indiscretion not be obvious to the maker?Your friends may find the actors you resemble to be handsome — and the celebrities to whom you have compared other friends, maybe not so much.
How about, instead, we all stop making comparisons and commenting on people’s looks altogether? It only gets one in trouble. Unless someone would like to assert that Miss Manners resembles Olympe de Gouges. In which case, she graciously accepts the compliment.: I have a colleague who claims to forget my name and who I am, especially when we are in a large group situation.
At a conference, he will say to me, “I don’t think we’ve met; who are you?”, even though we’ve met several times before.Other colleagues have warned me that he uses this ploy on them, as well, for his self-amusement and to appear superior. It’s as if to say, “You didn’t leave much of an impression on me the last time we met.”
I know Miss Manners disapproves of responding to rudeness with rudeness, but does she have any suggestion on how to handle this situation?
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