Miss Manners: I’m insulted by my guests’ unwanted housekeeping

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Miss Manners: I’m insulted by my guests’ unwanted housekeeping
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My wife says they’re just trying to be helpful but it offends me.

Miss Manners will concede, however, that starting the washing machine without asking is an overstep. Proper overnight protocol is to strip the bed, put the bed cover back on it and put the folded sheets on top of the cover at the bottom of the bed. The trick is to fold them just nicely enough to look tidy, but not so neat that the host will mistake the set for clean ones — and then unwittingly remake the bed with dirty sheets.I was invited to the wedding of a friend of my son’s from high school.

Is it wrong for me to not send a wedding gift? I also know the bride, as they all graduated together in our small town. I am very hurt and I am not sure where I stand, though no one has insinuated that I have done anything wrong. I canceled my leave request from work for the wedding. My heart is broken!Did you think to ask your son what the rift was about? Because while Miss Manners generally agrees that parents should stay out of their adult children’s affairs, it seems odd that you would not at least consider defending him.

All things being equal, the bridegroom — who had his own relationship with you — should not have excluded you when his anger was with your son. But depending upon the nature of the quarrel, you may well consider standing in solidarity with your real son, rather than with your bonus one. Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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