I end up looking ungrateful for something I never wanted in the first place.
Does Miss Manners have any suggestions for gracefully declining offers of these “favors”? What about when the well-wisher insists?For unwanted donations, Miss Manners suggests you practice a firm, “No, thank you, I’m afraid we simply don’t have the room.” And for the unsolicited help, an equally firm, “We really do not require anything right now, but we will certainly let you know if we do.”
If they persist, Miss Manners suggests you come up with practical, simple and hard-to-screw-up tasks for them: a ride to the hospital, perhaps, or a trip to the grocery store to pick up ginger ale. Small and specific is the goal. But if your loved ones inevitably come up with 38,476 questions about directions to the store, the location of the beverage aisle and the various brands, flavors and prices of ginger ale, Miss Manners is afraid that even she cannot help you. She advises you to get more competent and self-sufficient relatives.I moved to the South, and people in my area are very religious and go to church regularly.
I am at a loss as to how to answer to this question. I am not religious and was brought up in the Jewish faith.“Thank you, but I am not attending services at the moment. I practice privately.” You need not specify what you practice — it could be the violin, for all Miss Manners cares — but the hope is that by virtue of its sounding vague and mysterious, the inquiries will abruptly cease.
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