Was I really at fault? I didn’t even actually refuse.
It is likely not the fact that you said no, but the casual manner with which you effectively said “I don’t feel like it” that your friend found so offensive.
Miss Manners is not encouraging you to lie, only that it is unnecessary to disclose the entire insulting truth. She wishes that she could persuade her Gentle Readers to stop “just being honest” and to start using the phrase, “I am afraid that I can’t.” Unnecessarily hurt feelings are so often the result of the former.I have a voice-enabled speaker, and for the most part, it is a useful delight throughout the day. But I do have one gripe, to which I cannot find a resolution.
It used to be that when the timer alert went off, I could say “thank you” and hear some variant of “you’re welcome” in return, and then the alert would stop. Now I still hear the “you’re welcome,” but the alert continues. I have searched for a solution online and found nothing. It feels so much less polite, not to mention less friendly, that I must say “stop.”While Miss Manners shares your frustration, she remains conflicted about the need to be polite to robots .
But she agrees that when it is one’s constant companion — and particularly in the presence of children — such devices should be treated with civility. She therefore adds her hope that the people in charge of programming these things can find more polite ways for us to converse. And while they’re at it, perhaps they can find a more polite way of getting a device’s attention than yelling “Hey!”I often eat at restaurants alone, and I enjoy the solitude.
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