Much like the art of French cooking, the art of stress eating can be honed through practice, proper technique, and watching the evening news in a state of panic. Here’s how.
Plunge a finger into a jar of Nutella and then transfer it directly into your mouth. Some Nutella will naturally dribble down your chin; reserve this. It will taste even better the next day.
While using one hand to dip into the Nutella, use the other to flip through today’s paper. Continue until you find yourself boiling with anger but unable to articulate any intelligent thoughts besides “Argh!” and “Ugh!”savory treat, dip some potato chips into the Nutella. If you accidentally drop chips down the front of your shirt, don’t worry. Just pluck those gooey chips from your cleavage and pop them right back into your mouth.
Allow yourself to rest. Use this time to stare blankly out a window as you contemplate the possibility of World War III breaking out. Mon Dieu!This classic French stew is made by simmering beef in red wine for hours. But a bottle of French red wine is something you can enjoy right now.Instructions Pour wine into a nice stemmed glass. Remember: the presentation of a dish can elevate your day drinking. So go ahead and break out the crystal. The intricate patterns cut into the glass will go nicely with the worry lines engraved on your forehead.
Let your thoughts swirl as you wonder if you’ve waited too long to respond to that invitation and now everyone will know that you’re a flake. Chide yourself for worrying about social etiquette at a time like this. You won’t have to worry about tardy R.S.V.P.s when Armageddon arrives.Allow your emotions to cool before helping yourself to the remaining Nutella on your chin.
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