'I vow to forever vote and fight for the rights of all birthing people and their right to choose.'
, so I took the time to consider all of them and tried to do so in a way where I was being honest with myself and realistic about my situation. It took me some time to come to a rational decision while being inundated by early pregnancy hormones but ultimately decided I wanted to move forward with my pregnancy and was willing to battle the unknowns and inevitable hardships.
Almost as soon as my excitement began to bud about my little babe, my world was halted once again at the heartbreaking news that I was having a miscarriage. My partner and I were devastated, and I had a new set of challenging decisions to make as to how I wanted to proceed.What I learned through this painful experience is that pregnancy is all about choices — and not solely regarding abortion, adoption, or carrying to term.
I'm still working through grief and trauma, but this experience has opened my eyes to how damaging it is to force someone to remain pregnant against their will. Before my pregnancy, I had no idea how physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausting the process is — not to mention the constant fear of doing something wrong.
I think people often forget how taxing and terrifying pregnancy can be. For me, even the short amount of time that I was pregnant for took a toll on my body. It took nearly a month after the miscarriage to even begin to feel normal again, and my hormones are still out of wack. Some things still haven't gone back to the way they were in terms of my body or my sex life, and I'm coming to terms that they may never be the same again.
There are innumerable variables to each individual and each pregnancy as far as their individual circumstances, risks, and support systems go, making the true weight of pregnancy unfathomable until that positive result rests in your hands. After my unplanned pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage, I stand firmer now than ever before in my pro-choice beliefs, and I.
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