Here's an unexpected downside to being too tuned in to a partner’s moods—and what to do differently, by swhitbo
Looking at those other possible contributors to the EDA-closeness relationship, it appeared that when members of a couple were in a bad mood, their physiological linkage increased. The opposite occurred when they were happy. As the authors concluded, “These results suggest that negative emotional states may be more readily linked to increased linkage than positive mood states."
Turning to the main research question, would being in sync be good or bad for a relationship? The findings showed that, as the authors predicted, couples with lower relationship satisfaction actually showed fewer linkages than those who were content with each other. These findings raise the possibility that whether being in sync with your partner is a good or bad thing may depend on which emotions are aroused at any given moment.
The counter-intuitive idea that being in sync with your partner could have negative implications for your relationship may be one that you’re having trouble wrestling with. Shouldn’t you try to be as in tune with your partner as possible? And if your relationship is one that needs help, is it better to disconnect?
Because the authors couldn’t determine whether poor relationship satisfaction leads to higher EDA linkages or vice versa, the answer to these questions cannot definitively be provided based on this study. However, if the notion resonates with you that you’d rather not pick up on your partner’s negative behaviors, moods, or apparent feelings toward you, then you may be able to understand where being in sync can have its limits.
It may be possible, too, that knowing these findings could help you in other ways. When you feel yourself starting to pick up on your partner’s negative reactions to a situation, it may be beneficial to stop yourself from traveling down that same physiological highway. As Timmons et al. suggest, you could note the feelings that you’re picking up on and use these to try to guide the conversation toward “sensitivity to each other’s emotions and perspectives." Just don’t get caught in them.
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