Is Bringing Your Whole Self to Work a Trap?

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Is Bringing Your Whole Self to Work a Trap?
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The idea of being more “authentic” in the workplace has become increasingly popular. But for mothers, it can come with consequences.

The death of the Work Voice—that slightly sing-songy, totally fake tone most often used with co-workers, clients, and managers—happened a few years ago when TikTokers jumped on the trend of using their “real voices” versus their “customer service voices.” The viral demonstration seemed like a challenge to the buttoned-up ways people felt pressured to present themselves at work during a time when so many people were clocking in from home.

Moms we’ve spoken with have reported how their pregnancies have made some co-workers tense or uncomfortable. One recalled returning to work after parental leave, only to find her manager blatantly reading a book titled Childfree by Choice right before their first meeting. Such encounters make it harder for mothers to feel safe enough to allow themselves to be truly seen.

“You walk into every meeting and conversation adapting who you are,” says Timm. “You put on layers and layers of armor to protect yourself. Over time, that armor becomes really heavy.”. Published in March of this year, it lays out her journey with diversity, equity, and inclusion advocacy and offers a road map for navigating identity issues in the workforce. “We all want to belong; it’s human nature,” says Timm. “But when you are the different one in the room, you feel like an outsider.

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