Know the warning signs.
According to Weiss, avoidants feel that being dependent is synonymous with being weak. To control this, they keep partners at a distance and lower the possibility of being hurt by the actions of their significant others."Someone like this may feel compelled to cheat because it allows them to feel less dependent on their partner," Weiss says.
hen avoidants do stray, it's often a distraction or entertainment. Avoidants may also stray if they feel like they are missing something in a relationship—which may have been the reason for an argument in the first place. "If the conflict involves an unmet need or desire, they might turn to someone else to fulfill that need or desire rather than do the challenging—and not always fruitful—work of trying to get that from their partner," Weiss says. Conversely, if their partner is the one who feels like something is missing, avoidants may believe the other person is too needy and cheat out of resentment, she adds.If this sounds similar to your relationship, don't panic.
Additionally, Landry asserted that anxiously attached partners may have their reasons to cheat as well. These partners can seek closeness from others if they are otherwise lacking that feeling in a relationship with a distant or emotionally unavailable avoidant partner. "The anxious person begins to catastrophize and assumes the relationship will end," she says."He or she may go outside of the relationship to soothe the need for intimacy or line up their next partner. This fear of abandonment drives behavior and often leads to regret and guilt about cheating."
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