'From 2016-2017, 5% of adults in the UK reported feeling ‘often or always’ lonely. During the pandemic, that percentage rose to 7.2%, with one in four adults admitting they feel lonely either some or all of the time.' ✍️ LaurenMedlicott
This year, the Mental Health Foundation’s Mental Health Awareness Week highlighted the links between mental health and loneliness, hoping to dispel the stigma that there is shame linked to the feeling of loneliness.
Although Gabi managed to drag herself into work every day, she started relying on small amounts of alcohol in the evenings to cope with the dark thoughts swirling around in her mind. Loneliness and social isolation are not necessarily synonymous, according to Catherine Seymour. A person can feel lonely while surrounded by people, and likewise, someone may be socially isolated, but not feel lonely.
As she awaited an appointment with a psychologist, Gabi began to tell people about what was going on, starting with a select group of people in work and close friends. ‘It felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders,; she admits. ‘They were all really supportive.’ Although not every person feeling lonely will be suicidal, it is third most common topic people contact the Samaritans helpline about. ‘As loneliness is different for everyone, the calls vary,’ explains Joe Potter, Policy Manager at Samaritans.
Couple friends she had disappeared off the scene following the split too. ‘You lose friends with a divorce,’ Su explains. ‘The people we used to go for dinner or the cinema with – when you’re not a couple, they’re not interested.’ In the first twelve months of the pandemic, Su grappled with her loneliness. ‘I got very, very depressed,’ she recalls.
Su’s saving grace during those months were her wide array of animals – three cats, a bearded dragon, a leopard gecko, jumping spiders, millipedes, and isopods. ‘They were the reason I got out of bed,’ she admits. ‘Otherwise, I might have just stayed in bed all day, got up for a bath, and went back to bed again.’
I could feel myself becoming lonelier by the day, but put a brave face on for my kids, colleagues, and friends. I was everyone’s confidant and felt I had to keep strong for them. After staying one night in hospital, I was released back home as there wasn’t enough space in hospital for me to stay longer. I got home and went straight to the local park to attempt and shake the suicidal feelings that were still swirling around in my brain.In the days following my attempt, I started to talk more openly about my feelings and experiences with the people closest to me. I had never done that before. Never told them I felt lonely inside.
‘Young people who are struggling with their mental health also often feel isolated or alone,’ says Deirdre Kehoe, Director of training and services at YoungMinds. ‘I felt the struggle to meet people, but didn’t fit in,’ the now 25-year-old recalls. ‘My mental health wasn’t great at that time either and I was barely in for my classes. I was anxious about the work and the environment didn’t feel supportive. I was having really bad stomach aches, often throwing up from anxiety. I spent most of the days at home on my own. It was quite lonely.’
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