I'm Obsessed With Astrology Apps Like Co-Star
, which largely provide answers to questions like “Which one of my friends is the most obsessed with themselves?” and “Who cries too much?” and “Who is most likely to suggest we go on a hike and then instead get drunk and maybe do cocaine and then cry in the bathroom about how hopeless they feel about climate change?”
Similarly, astrology has given me a safe way to tell the people I love the most what’s wrong with them. Telling my Virgo friend that she’s trash at apologizing might not fly; sending her this meme of a One of my closest friends, Barb, is a Pisces and a true believer in the sun, the stars, the moon, all that garbage. After a decade and change of knowing her, I can finally make fun of her without the result being her bursting into tears.
For my entire life, white women have been trying to convince me to get into astrology, and I’ve mostly avoided it until now. Nearly everything white women are always trying to make me do forces me in the other direction. I don’t want to spend money on crystals and I’m not going to buy a salt lamp and hot yoga is too hot . So my response to astrology was similar.
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