How Mathematics Changed Me

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How Mathematics Changed Me
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How learning about pattern and motion and symmetry and scale produced in one writer a sense of the divine.

Among certain mathematicians, some of the great ones historically and presently, there is the belief that, at its highest ranges, mathematics seems to converge toward a unity and that this unity is God.

I had sensed that in the design of the world, there was more than I had imagined there to be—an order, of a kind, if ephemeral, if imagined, still somehow real to me. It suggested that there was something at hand worth looking out for. It gave me a belief in a structure of some kind, elusively apparent, but present somehow. A thing behind the things. An unfolding moment by moment. Something not to be interrupted.

I had also hoped that math would make my thinking, such as it was, more rigorous, that it would lend it clarity and orderliness, and that since I never felt that I had this ability, I looked forward to acquiring it. I saw math as a kind of boot camp that I might have benefitted from had I been through it earlier. Instead, learning math broadened me in a way that I hadn’t anticipated.

This affects how I move through the world. It locates one in the present, and it lessens the abrasion. It encourages tolerance and engagement and nurtures the capacity to see the world as complex and not merely in terms of one’s advantage. It enables me to be more attentive to another argument, instead of rejecting it before I understand it.

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