'In this process I have been reminded that, in any coming out, the community catches you.' PrideMonth ScienceCareers
I told my dad using a"rip off the Band-Aid" strategy. I took a deep breath, dialed his cellphone, and said,"Hey Dad, it's Carly, I just, um, wanted to tell you that I'm, um, dating a woman. OK, talk to you later!" And just like that, I had both hung up on and come out to my dad. Fast forward 9 years: I'm an out and proud gay woman, accepted and loved by my family. I'm also in the depths of a Ph.D.
Yet soon I was sneaking away to science communication conferences and arranging informational interviews at government organizations, reminiscent of my younger self wistfully wandering around West Hollywood, sneaking into gay bars, and watchingwhenever I could.
As I thought about telling her, I reflected on the Band-Aid strategy I had used with my dad. My abrupt approach set up a one-way flow of information and created a tacit understanding that my gayness existed but was not to be discussed, which led me to avoid talking with my family about large aspects of my life for years. We have since reached a point where we can discuss most things freely.
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