'Since becoming a mother the loss of her has made me feel confused and bitter.'
. She was 27 too. Cancer took hold of her without warning, and a little over a year later, she was gone. She was the person I could call at 2 AM to talk about nothing with, the person who used to show my photo to guys at bars to tell them how amazing I was , the person who knew literally every single deep, dark secret about me . The person who justme in a way that no one, not even my husband, has ever understood me, was permanently and irrevocably gone. My best friend of ten years.
While we were elated to be expecting, there was a bittersweet taste to every pregnancy milestone. I couldn’t call my best friend with the announcement that she was going to be an aunt. She wouldn’t feel the baby kick through my stomach. She wouldn’t be at the baby shower. Is it because I know how much Eila would have loved her? Is it because I feel her spirit whenever Eila lets out a giant belly laugh or dances when there is no music playing? Or is it because Bre is not here to watch Eila grow up? That we won’t get to grab coffee and watch our kids play together at the park?literally
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